Relationship Support

  1. Splitting up or staying together?

    Problems in a relationship doesn’t have to mean it will end. Talking to Family Lives can help you share your feelings, and decide whether the relationship can be saved. If a split is inevitable or has already happened, Family Lives can help you think about what’s best for the whole family.

    Relate counsellor Denise Knowles says: 

    “It’s not uncommon for couples who are experiencing difficulties in their relationship to consider splitting up as their only choice. Some may feel they’ve exhausted all the options, while for others it may be the first thing they consider. However, splitting up might not be the only choice. Before taking this step,...

  2. Saving your Relationship

    Have you reached a point where you are questioning where your relationship might be going, or have things changed and you aren’t sure how to get your relationship back on track?  It is natural for relationships to change over time, but it can very easy to slip into complacency and to start taking each other for granted.  

    Having children can pile even more pressure on a relationship especially when there might be limited time for you to spend with your partner.  It might be that you have to be a little more organised to ensure that you do make this happen.  It is easy in any relationship for things to become a little too comfortable but it is really important that you do still make time for your partner to try and keep your relationship alive....

  3. Suzie’s tips for great parent sex

    • Don’t feel selfish to want a life of your own – or a love life – once a baby is on the scene.
    • Strengthening your relationship will benefit the whole family and your children – it’s not just for you. Children are happier when their parents have a strong physical and emotional relationship.
    • Be honest with each other about difficulties you are finding with the new baby or the children. Don’t feel you have to ‘know it all’.
    • Talking together and admitting what you are finding difficult eases resentment and will in turn directly benefit your sex life by improving your feelings for each other.
    • Think about sex in a different way: it doesn’t have to be penetrative sex. Try touching, cuddling, holding each other. It’s never...
  4. Is there sex life after children?

    Most parents know that having less sex is part and parcel of life with a new baby. Yet when the children are a bit older, when we’re less tired and we have more opportunity to be intimate, we can look forward to our sex life returning pretty much to what it was pre-children, right?

    Well, apparently not. According to a survey carried out for Family Lives, parents having the least sex are the ones whose children are teenagers. 66 per cent of our respondents have teenage or older children, followed by those with children aged between 5 and 12 (49%). Clearly, these parents aren’t struggling with sleep deprivation or exhausted by the demands of caring for a newborn. Many seem to a large extent to have given up on their sex life: just under 45% told us they have sex less than once a...

  5. Let's get it on' this Valentine's Day

    National charity Parentline Plus is encouraging parents to dim the lights this Valentine's Day and put the romance back in their relationship. The charity has found that 85.9 % of parents whether married, co-habiting or single had sex less frequently since having children and 72.4 % of all respondents stating that their sex life was not as good after children.

    Key findings from Parentline Plus 44.4% admitted to having had sex less than once a week 41 % have been interrupted having sex by their children one or more times. 29.8 % of respondents explained their behaviour to their children “by pretending they were playing a game” whilst 27.7% simply hid under the duvet!

    26.5 % of parents blamed tiredness as the number one reason for not having sex more often 23.2% of parents...

  6. Keeping your bedroom child-free!

    Want privacy in the bedroom but find it impossible with young children? You're not alone. 41% of parents responding to our Get it on!Sex Lives Survey told us that they'd been interrupted by their kids during a passionate moment. And how did parents react? Well, over a quarter (27.7%)told us they hid under the duvet...while just under 30% pretended to be playing a game! Only 17% used the opportunity to have a discussion about parents needing private time together. We asked parents to share their ideas of how to avoid the embarrassing moments and claim the bedroom back...

    • It’s important to be consistent with the messages you give your children - if you encourage your children to get into bed with you sometimes, they won’t understand that at other times you want privacy. If...
  7. Top Ten Tips for a Happier Family

    1. Balancing work and home life

    It’s not easy balancing your work and home life, but how you manage it can make quite a difference to your relationship with your family. Having a balance between work and home – being able to work in a way which fits around family commitments and isn't restricted to the 9 to 5 – boosts self-esteem as you're not always worrying about neglecting your responsibilities in any area, making you feel more in control of your life. Your family will be happier to see more of you, and you'll have a life away from home.

    2. Look After Yourself

    Parents often spend all their time looking after everyone else in the family and forget about themselves. If you don’t look after yourself, you can end up feeling miserable and resentful, and you won’t...

  8. Couple conflict

    Couple sitting in a park

    Many parents recognise the impact of their adult relationship difficulties on both how they parent and directly on their children and call us about these matters. It seems that for some people seeking help about children and parenting is more acceptable than seeking help about couple relationships. One plus One is a useful site on:

    • how relationships work
    • why they can sometimes run into difficulties: and
    • how couples cope when they do.

    It is common for children’s behaviour to deteriorate when they feel insecure because they see or feel things between their parents are not going well, and younger children in particular are likely to feel responsible....