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Brothers and Sisters

  1. Sibling rivalry in older children

    Children playfighting

    We can’t all get on all of the time – it’s natural for your children to argue and fall out with each other. The relationship children have with their siblings can help to map out the way they will socialise and deal with disagreements when they grow up.

    One of the reasons brothers and sisters find it hard to get on, is because of differences in age that mean they are at different stages in their development and are interested in activities relating to that. Introduce activities and days out that all age groups can participate in, such as a trip to the park – younger children can play on swings whilst the older ones may want to kick a ball about.

    This means that no one is getting left behind and there’s no cause for resentment. Encourage the older ...

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  2. Sibling rivalry: first child's feelings

    A new baby is clearly going to cause excitement for the whole family, but it can be a time of great uncertainty for the first child who may feel that their role as the centre of their parents’ universe is being taken away from them.

    Even if your child appears to be independent and capable of doing many things for themselves and without your constant attention, they still need your love and interest just as much as before – maybe now more than ever. Many children experience feelings of jealousy towards their new brother or sister, and may convey these feelings through behaving regressively – resorting to more ‘babyish’ behaviour, such as having tantrums or refusing to use the potty even though they have been successfully potty-trained for a while. This...

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  3. Sibling rivalry - the early years

    A new baby is a huge adjustment for the older chid, who can feel that the new baby is taking over their role in the family, and this can lead to sibling rivalry. This can be shown in many different ways including the regressive behaviour mentioned already, as well as behaving aggressively towards the baby, by pinching or poking them or throwing things at them.

    Try not to punish your older child through humiliation or physical discipline, as this may lead to them feeling more resentful towards the baby and they may try to hurt the baby again. Although you must explain clearly that they are not allowed to hurt the baby, tell them you know they are not meaning to be bad and should tell you how they are feeling, rather than taking it out on their brother or sister....

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  4. Sibling rivalry

    The first child can feel that the new baby is taking over their role in the family, and this can lead to sibling rivalry. This can be shown in many different ways including the regressive behaviour mentioned already, as well as behaving aggressively towards the baby, by pinching or poking them or throwing things at them.

    Try not to punish your older child through humiliation or physical discipline, as this may lead to them feeling more resentful towards the baby and they may try to hurt the baby again. Although you must explain clearly that they are not allowed to hurt the baby, tell them you know they are not meaning to be bad and should tell you how they are feeling, rather than taking it out on their brother or sister. Hopefully this should encourage them to...

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