When your child has been arrested it is important that you make sure that they get fair treatment - no matter what they have been arrested for.
You may feel angry about what has happened but try to stay calm so that you are able to support them.
As a parent you can act as an ‘Appropriate Adult’ for your child
An ‘Appropriate Adult’ is someone that supports a young person when they have been arrested. This means you can observe the interview between your child and the police, called a PACE interview (...
If you are going to Court for the first time, you may not know what to expect. It can be a daunting place, especially when you are worried about what is going to happen to your child.
What will a solicitor do for my child?
To help you and your child prepare for Court it is important to find a solicitor. The solicitor will meet with you and your child to discuss the case and will offer you legal advice. They will let your child know what to do and say in Court. It is important to contact a solicitor before your first Court appearance. Check with them whether you are entitled to legal aid.
What happens on the day of...
Parenting is a challenging job and support can be useful at different stages as your child grows up, especially if your child has not been going to school, has seriously misbehaved at school or is getting into trouble with the police. In these cases you may be contacted by your local Youth Offending Team (YOT) or Local Education Authority (LEA) to assess what help you need, including a possible Parenting Order.
What is a Parenting Order?
This is a Court Order which is designed to give you support and guidance. It aims to help you prevent your child from offending and/or antisocial behaviour and/or help you get them to attend school every day, and/or address issues of behaviour at school after...
Sarah, aged 15, was arrested for fighting three times within the space of one month. Excluded from school, she only just escaped being sent to prison before trying to get her life back on track with the help of a local mentoring project for disaffected young people.
Sarah attends a project three days a week where the rehabilitation process includes basic classes in literacy and numeracy. She has now been on the right side of the law for over six months and is planning to apply for a place on a scheme to train as a hairdresser.
It was like me and my friends all had something to prove to each other - who was the biggest. At the time we thought we were grown up because we’d been arrested. Now we just think we were being stupid and realise that ...
Feliz had been in an abusive and violent relationship. She had two children aged three and sixteen. She came to us regarding concerns about her eldest, Sharon.
Sharon had been running away for days at a time and these periods of time were on the increase. Sharon was being bullied at school and was at risk of exclusion because of non-attendance. Feliz was also concerned about the people she was hanging round with and her relationship with an older man. Feliz found it hard to talk to her daughter, she would not listen or tell her mother what was happening in her life.
Feliz was an extremely hard-working business woman and juggling the demands of parenting, a violent relationship and work. Feliz had no family in the UK and this increased her feelings of isolation.
Young people run away for a range of reasons – it may be that you have been arguing for some time, or it may be to do with problems that your teenager feels unable to talk to you about like bullying, sex and relationships, drugs, or a combination of problems.
In the midst of an argument your teenager may threaten to run away, or you may in fact tell them to go - you’ve had enough. But in the majority of cases, when the teenager has actually run away both adult and teen wish they could turn the clock back and prevent it from happening.
Making sure the threat doesn’t become reality
When there have been problems building up for sometime it is often difficult to step back. But sometimes you may need to take time out and think about what your teenager...
At Family Lives we hear from parents who are concerned about their teenagers lying to and stealing from them, other family members and friends.
This is easier to control and understand when it’s young children, but by the time your children reach their teens, you expect them to know better.
The reasons behind why they are stealing could be down to wanting the latest game or mobile, and not wanting to save up and wait for it, but it’s also about pushing the boundaries your have set for them.
Why do teenagers steal?
To fit in. Peer pressure is behind a lot of the behaviour seen in teenagers, and wanting the latest mobile, computer game or new clothes, can drive them to use any means to get what they want.
At Family Lives, we hear more and more often from parents terrorised by their violent children. Why is this behaviour more common? And what can you do if it’s happening to you?
Mum Chrissie*, 43, from Norwich, lives in fear of her 14 year old daughter Suzy’s* explosive temper and aggressive behaviour.
“When I hear the door slam as she arrives home from school, my heart pounds,” Chrissie told Parentline Plus.
“I separated from her Dad – who had a drink problem and was abusive– but Suzy seems to have taken over his role as an aggressor in the house. She blames me for everything in her life - the break-up, a bad day at school, a quarrel with her boyfriend, even what I’ve made for tea.
“One minute we can be sitting down watching television, the...
Arguments are to be expected as part of family life, and these can definitely start to happen more often, once your child enters their teenage years.
Sometimes disagreements will turn into blazing rows, with your teenager insulting you or swearing. This can be hurtful and disappointing, leaving you asking yourself questions like ‘why has it got to this level?’ or ‘What have I done wrong?’
Whilst it is understandable that they may sometimes get very angry and need to let their frustration out, it is not acceptable for them to become aggressive and it is never OK for them to physically hurt you.
If these heated arguments are leading to violence, then you need to face the issues behind all the anger. It may be hard to admit that there is a problem, but if your...
- Don’t exhibit aggressive behaviour to your teen. If you are hitting or screaming at your child, you can’t expect them to behave any better. If you want a calm, considerate and non-violent child, then you have to set the example to follow. Remember, anger and aggression is a natural reaction to feeling attacked or injured.
- Do let them know that feeling angry is understandable but that how they express that anger can lead to problems. Explain that violence is not acceptable and that there will be consequences for their aggressive behaviour. ...
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