Family Lives recognises that building self esteem in children is an ongoing process and starts early. As parents we don’t always get it right, but as long as you can remember to praise, listen and enforce boundaries in a positive way this will hopefully ensure that your child knows your door will always be open and that you will never withdraw your love and support.
You can help to build your child’s self esteem by letting them know how well they have done and how proud you are of them. Don’t just say this, use descriptive words to ensure that they understand why you are pleased so they don’t just think it’s an “off the cuff” remark. Even though they might feel embarrassed talking to you they need to know that you are there to listen and support, not judge...
- Think about how your family spends leisure time. After all, is playing on the computer any different to watching television all night?
- Agree the amount of time your child can spend on the computer every day. Be firm. Make sure your partner or ex backs you up and keeps to the rules when you are out.
- MSN messenger is a favourite for your child to talk to their friends. Think of it as alternative to phoning - and cheaper! Keep a time limit as you would with the phone.
- When buying computer games check if there is an age certificate, as some games have 'adult content'.
- If your child has already got a pattern of constantly being on the computer you may need to rethink your approach so that you meet half way.
Article by Olivia Holcombe
It’s normal for children to become so focused on certain things that they almost seem obsessed with them. Maybe they like to spend time lining their toys up a certain way, or twist or chew their hair. Some habits are a natural, healthy part of growing up, but if they start to interfere with a child’s life or cause them distress or harm, they can be classed as compulsive.
"Parents will generally be able to tell the difference between something that’s a natural part of growing up, and something that might need closer attention,” says Sandra Hiller, Parentline Plus Hertfordshire Area Manager.
“For example, children tend to be fascinated by scabs and will often dislodge them to see if they bleed. That’s different to picking...
Article by Olivia Holcombe
Finding the bond, the emotional connection that ties a parent and a child, can be a struggle for some parents. While many will experience ‘love at first sight’ with their child at birth, others just don’t – and still have difficulties years down the line. It can also be an issue in families that come together when the child is older, like stepfamilies or after adoption.
“The media doesn’t help, as it pushes the message that parents should instantly bond with their children, whereas actually often they struggle to,” says Sandra Hiller, Family Live's Hertfordshire area manager. “We hear from mums and dads who express different issues around how they’re struggling to bond. Because people think it’s a taboo, they often hide their...
What do you do when... your toddler throws a tantrum in a supermarket?
Shout You are furious! You rant and rave at the child, which makes the tantrum worse. Everyone in the supermarket stares at you. Anger is a very powerful emotion. It is a natural and necessary emotion, too. There is nothing wrong in being angry. Accept that you and your toddler are likely to get angry sometimes. But there is a difference between being in control of your anger and out of control. A toddler tantrum is anger out of control.
Anger is an intense emotion and your toddler may be frightened by it. By saying to him or her 'I know you may be feeling angry' you are letting them know that you understand what they are feeling. Shouting...
When you have lost someone through death, a partner, child, family member or friend, it may seem overwhelming to offer support to your child. The loss experienced will have changed everything and each family member will be trying to make sense of what has happened in their own way. Children and young people may need some help with this:
- Try to talk to your children honestly and explain what has happened in a way that they can understand. They need information and reassurance.
- Try to talk to the children about the funeral. Including them and giving them choices will help them to remember and say goodbye.
- Talk about the person who has died - include your children in remembering.
- How children grieve will depend on their age and their...
A recent report on online gaming by Sweden’s Youth Care Foundation described the extremely popular multi-player game World of Warcraft as “more addictive than crack cocaine”. The series of Top Tips are available at www.gotateenager.org.uk/onlinegaming and will help parents to develop strategies to tackle this phenomenon. Jeremy Todd, Parentline Plus Chief Executive, said: “Parentline Plus recognises that parents with teenagers can find it difficult to cope at times and online gaming can lead to conflict within families if agreements about usage are not made and adhered to. Our Top Tips will help parents improve their relationships with teenagers and resolve any potential arguments around...
Family Lives have been speaking to parents of 8-13 year olds about the effects of violent or aggressive behaviour on their children. One key issue that emerged from a number of parents we talked to was a lack of positive, non-violent role models for children. One parent said:
“Twenty or thirty years ago, children were taught that you respected and you listened to your elders. It didn’t have to be your parent; it could be your parent’s friend or an elder on the street. You knew that if you were out, you were supposed to behave yourself and conduct yourself in a certain way.”
How children are raised has a substantial effect on their behaviour, as the group’s discussions revealed. One parent spoke about a nine year old boy who would get...
Many parents recognise the impact of their adult relationship difficulties on both how they parent and directly on their children and call us about these matters. It seems that for some people seeking help about children and parenting is more acceptable than seeking help about couple relationships. One plus One is a useful site on:
- how relationships work
- why they can sometimes run into difficulties: and
- how couples cope when they do.
It is common for children’s behaviour to deteriorate when they feel insecure because they see or feel things between their parents are not going well, and younger children in particular are likely to feel responsible....
You might feel excited about the move, maybe a better house or area, but do your children feel the same? Children aren’t as used to change as adults and this could be a huge step for them. They may feel worried about leaving their friends behind and having to start again or being the new person at school. Here are some tips from parents who have moved house themselves…
- Change is to be expected. You can’t avoid it, but you can help them to cope with it.
- Think about the impact this is having on your child. Remember that whilst you might be excited about the move they might not be. Try not to feel too annoyed if they don’t share your enthusiasm but try and work out why they feel sad about leaving their old life behind.
- Offer lots of...
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