Crying baby

6min read

Key Points:

There could be number of reasons why your baby is crying including hunger, tiredness or in need of comfort
Although there are various techniques, you may find your own ways of soothing your baby that is individual to you and your baby
Try stroking your baby’s back firmly and rhythmically, holding them against you or lying face downwards on your lap

Why is my baby crying?

A crying baby can be really exhausting and draining, especially in the early days. As a parent, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed when we are unable to soothe a crying baby. Babies use cues to signal their needs, but it takes time to understand their language. By observing and getting to know your baby, you'll be able to anticipate and address their needs before they start to cry. Even when they are crying, you'll have a good idea of what the problem might be or recognise their different cries. Some of the most common reasons are:

they may be hungry
they could have a dirty or wet nappy
they may be tired or want a cuddle
it may be wind or something else just as uncomfortable
they may be too hot or too cold
it could be boredom or they have been overstimulated through play
they may also be overtired

Soothing your baby

Although there are various techniques, you may find your own ways of soothing your baby that is individual to you and your baby. You know your baby best and will find out what is best for your family. Try different methods and perhaps speak to friends and family about methods they may have tried and tested. It is essential to listen to your instincts and respond to your baby in a way that feels comfortable for you. The following are further tips you can use:

If your baby has a dummy or another comforter, use this as a way of soothing them.
If you are breastfeeding, they may need to go on your breast for comfort.
Hold your baby and gently sway and quietly soothe them with a lullaby or just talk to them.
You could use their pram and push them back and forth.
You may want to go out for a walk or a drive.
You could distract them with a toy, music, or mobile above their cot
Try stroking your baby’s back firmly and rhythmically, holding them against you or lying face downwards on your lap.
You could also massage them gently with baby oil in a warm room.
Try a warm bath as this might help calm your baby

Looking after yourself

It’s natural to experience difficult, frustrated or even angry feelings when our babies cry and cry and whatever we do to comfort them is not working. It’s important not to feel guilty about those feelings, but to try and work out both how we can help our babies and how we can help ourselves. Having the feelings isn’t wrong – what’s important is not acting out the feelings on the baby. Our tips on what can help:

Try to keep calm and use breathing techniques
Leave the room for a short time if you feel yourself feeling frustrated so that you can calm down but make sure baby is safe before you do so
Ask someone else to hold the baby for a while if you can
Talk to other people about what they do or ask for help from your Health Visitor and/or GP if your baby is crying a lot
Plan some time to yourself to recharge your batteries
Lean on your family and friends for support

Further resources

If you would like further support and advice, call our helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service or message us via WhatsApp on 07441 444125 to connect with experienced professional family support workers and highly-trained volunteers. You may find it helps to find out how other parents and carers have coped with this on our online forums. We also have a range of free self-guided online parenting courses that can help through the ages and stages of parenting.

Our online parenting information is written by experienced parenting professionals. Find out more about our content authors, how it is produced, reviewed and edited.

Other organisations that you may find helpful

Our free online parenting course, New Baby in the Family, is a really helpful way of learning about your baby's needs. It covers four modules that includes communication and crying. You can work at your own pace and our course is free.

This advice from Bounty is really helpful if you are trying to cope with a crying baby

The NCT have advice on how to keep calm with a crying baby

Visit the NHS website for further tips and advice