Truancy: problems in school

If you’re aware that your child has had problems at school, this could be an opportunity for you, your child and the school to tackle them together. Questions you could ask include:

• Has she or he been in trouble with the teachers?
• Is this because of not doing school work or homework or because of an ‘attitude’ or disruptive behaviour?
• Is there a problem with one teacher in particular?

Talk things through with your child and ask what help they think they might need. Other possible problems include the following:

• Stress - Many young people feel under a lot of pressure; school work, exams and other people’s expectations affect how children feel. They are also going through the pressures of growing up, which includes physical change, mood swings and concerns about body image, relationships and identity.
• Bullying - Your child may be being bullied at school and be too afraid to tell anyone about it. Bullying includes physical or verbal attacks or threats, directly or through their mobile or the internet, social exclusion, sexist and racist abuse. Bullying is unacceptable behaviour and your child will need your help to get it stopped.
• Health - Your child may have been struggling in his or her studies or missing a lot of school because of a health problem which has not been identified. If you have any concerns at all about their health, go with them to the doctor for a medical check-up, or the optician’s for an eye-test. Your child may be suffering from depression or other mental health problems so your doctor should be able to arrange medical and counselling help.
• Educational needs - It may be that your child is bored or disillusioned with school because his or her educational needs are not met adequately. Sometimes this can cause a child to be disruptive or act the ‘clown’.

It may be that your child is bored or disillusioned with school because his or her educational needs are not met adequately. Sometimes this can cause a child to be disruptive or act the ‘clown’.

How do I talk to the school?

This can sometimes seem a daunting task. However, finding a solution tends to work best when pupil, parents and teachers work together. Always discuss the matter first with your son or daughter before approaching the school. If you have already been contacted by the school about your child’s truancy, the school will expect to hear from you and you have a responsibility to reply. Try to talk to them as soon as possible. If you are worried about talking to the school, or if English is not your first language, ask at your library if there are local community organisations that can help you. Telephone or write to the school to arrange a meeting with the teacher, Head of Year or Deputy Head. Ask if you can take a friend or relative along with you. Make a note of any points you want to make or questions you want to ask.

Meeting the school

Try to stay calm when talking to the teacher. If you feel angry or upset, say so, but try to avoid being aggressive. It is understandable that you might be feeling angry. Listen to what the teacher has to say, even if you disagree. Then put forward your view. A lot of school talk and jargon can be confusing; if you don’t understand something – ask. It is important to understand everything that is being said about your child. The teacher should explain things clearly. If you still don’t understand, ask again. Make a note for yourself of all the main points made at the meeting. This could be useful for future meetings. If your child has been having problems at school, or even difficulties at home, let the school know what they are and ask what can be done to help.

Sometimes a teacher is not aware that there have been problems. If the problem is bullying, for example, the school has a duty of care towards its pupils. Ask to see a copy of the school’s anti-bullying policy, if they have one. If you are not satisfied with the outcome of the meeting, make an appointment to see the Head Teacher or a parent governor. If the school is threatening exclusion get some information together so you know what to expect next. You can request an information pack through the Exclusion Line at the Advisory Centre for Education on 020 7704 9822. In general, try to become more involved with your child’s school. Teachers generally appreciate the involvement of parents, stepparents and carers, through attending open evenings, helping with school productions and attending parent teacher association (PTA) meetings. As well as being an opportunity to meet other parents, it can help build your child’s confidence and interest.

Home support

You can also play a vital role in your child’s education by giving support and encouragement at home. Often, the more supported a child feels at home, the more effectively she or he will learn at school. Try to spend more time with your child even if you are not doing something together.

Just being together in a room demonstrates your being there for them and your support. If you are a non-resident parent, you may still want to be involved with the school. So long as there is no court order to limit this, both parents are entitled to meet or speak to teachers, attend school functions and ask for a school report to be sent home. The involvement of a child’s non-resident family, organised sensitively, can be extremely valuable to the child. Even from a distance you still have a vital part to play in helping your son or daughter’s education. Try to keep in regular contact and take an interest in what she or he is learning. Write, phone, and email them.