Damaged goods

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spud73
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Joined: 16/04/2011
Posts: 1
Damaged goods

Hi my son is 9yrs old and i took custody of him in January 2009. My wife and i live in a cottage with a few acres in the middle of nowhere in Shropshire with my step daughter.
The reason my son came to me is because his mother couldn't cope with his behaviour any more. By the time he was 8 he had been in trouble with the police three times for criminal damage. He would be out all hours and tantrums when he couldn't get his own way. But when he was with me he was a different child. good, well mannered, helpful and loving, it was like two different children.
My problem is this, he lies constantly and on a resent shopping trip he stole a necklace and even though we dragged him back to the shop and showed him the cctv footage he still denied it?! He let his cousin take the blame and even though he knew his cousin was in serious trouble he coldly sat and asked whats for tea.
Since confronting him he has admitted to lots of terrible things which i can deal with but its the lying and the calculated sneaky way he does things. Not one word of truth has come out of him unless threatened with a thrashing. (never would but he doesn't know it).
He cleverly blames everyone else and while innocent children are being punished he carries on with his day wiithout no remorse. He doesn't feel guilt or sorry, he won't except cuddles or affection and i don't know how to get through anymore.
My wife and i are tired and worn out with the constant battle and don't know what to do. Please if there is anyone that can help i would love to hear from you.
I have to stop this now because he is showing signs of going on to be a very bad, dangerous person.

Thanks for your time.
Ian

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Joined: 26/11/2009
Posts: 630

Dear Ian,

What you are going through with your son is devastating and I can completely understand why you are at a loss on how to deal with him. As this is quite a complex situation, I am urging you to get in touch with us directly for support and advice. Please email us at parentsupport@familylives.org.uk so we can talk through what options you have available.

In the meantime, please get in touch with the GP or the School Nurse and talk about what has been happening. Hopefully, they may be able to make a suitable referral to a relevant service that can explore this further. It does sound like you do need support in tackling this. Please speak to Young Minds too as they can also give you some advice.

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/parents/parents-intro

I hope this helps.

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