Hi,
I am divorced and my ex husband and his new partner have just lost their baby at 16 weeks pregnancy. My 13 year old son is terribly upset at the loss of "Daisy, my new sister who died". His dad has given him ALL the details....many of which an adult would struggle to listen to. In addition to this my son has non epileptic seizures which are a result of stress originating from the divorce. He only managed half a day at school today because he was so overwhelmed. As a single mum this makes work life challenging for me (especially given that I often have to leave work because of his fits.). Does anyone have any advice to share with me. How can I help my son adjust and keep up with the normal daily activities. discussing with his father is fruitless so it's all down to me and I am feeling thoroughly lost at the moment.
Thanks for listening/ reading.
Fizz
Do alot of talking to him,let him know he his the man of the house now
he needs time and find a hobby he loves to do
He needs to grieve and know that it's ok to do so. Every parent has a different opinion about how much or how little to tell their child about an illness or death, if his dad had told him a lot, then he obviously thinks that was the right way to handle it. Try and help him celebrate his sister and remember her so he can move on, maybe a new baby was a new beginning for him, something positive to come out of the divorce. If you maybe talk to him about pregnancy, how it can end in miscarriage, even talk about when you were pregnant with him and how that felt. Hopefully if he feels that you understand and aren't I'm conflict with his dad then he will feel less stressed and his seizures may settle down. I would also suggest talking to your line manager and occupational health about your concerns, they have a duty towards you as a staff member. I know it depends on what your job is, but if your colleagues and manager understand his condition and school understand that you can't just drop everything , call you only when necessary, then you will feel less under pressure.
