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Sons behaviour

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Tue, 10/01/2012 - 19:11
#1
ElaineJessie
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Joined: 10/01/2012
Posts: 1
Sons behaviour

Hi there!! 

I would like any information at all please as I am at the end of my teather and don't know what where to turn.  I have been a single parent since he was born and no father figure at all, only his gran.

My son is 8 years old and is very agressive,abusive and fowl spoken towards me and his gran (only us).  I have had him at the Mental Health for child and adolencent group since he was 4 years old and they have told me in a phone call.  That they can no longer see him as there is no potential signs of bad behaviour,ADHD or anything and that he is just a normal child.  

At school he is very distracted and alwasy wanting to be in the middle of things (fights,arguments), but the school says they will keep an eye on things.  It seems to have gotten worse since going back to school and I have asked him if he is getting bullied or has been put out the class and he says school is fine.  

I am actually scared of my own son (its horrible to say that) as we could be happy one minute and the next minute he is hitting,or kicking me or swearing at me and if that hapens outside i cant do anything.  Sometimes it has got that bad I have threatened him with sending him away and with the Police but I cant see myself doing that,as I love him.  I put down ground rules and they are out the window within 15mins along with abusive behaviour.

I dont know where to turn or even just to speak to someone as it is getting out of hand.

From A reall confused and upset mum x

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Thu, 12/01/2012 - 15:26
#2
clover3
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Joined: 14/07/2011
Posts: 832

Hi ElaineJessie, I'm sorry that I can't explain why your son is behaving this way but does school feels he needs to see an educational psychologist or do they not see any need for that? If his behaviour is ok at school & he's only bad for you then it would seem this is just down to bad behaviour, he could be pushing you because he knows he can but deep down he wants your boundaries to be strong so that he doesn't feel out of control. We all love our kids but it can't stop us fom being firm or everybody suffers. I have teenagers now & that can be a real challenge so it's really important to get a handle on your son now ( as you say yourself ) before the move to High School as it will only worsen there because he will see bad behaviour & probably hear lots of bad language. If you ring the number at the top of this site they can give you some advice & support over the phone straight away and can tell you about your local parenting classes ( they are good & worth going along to so don't shy away from them ). I think they can arrange to call you weekly to continue the support. Also get hold of a book called Talking To Tweenies as its about parenting 8-12 yr olds, you can get it from Amazon or order it through your library if you don't want to pay out for it. Be really strong and stick to your rules , your son must face consequences if he doesn't behave, it shows you care. Act now because it will just get harder the older he gets I'm afraid to say. Very best wishes, Clover xx

 

P.S  Does he do cubs? That might be nice as male company would be good for him and also does he do any after school clubs, especially something physical to channel his energy?

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