We have lived in our current home for 9 months and have mostly kept to ourselves (and enjoyed it). We now have a strange situation with a neighbour who is married but has no children (she is awaiting IVF and an Egg donor) she is clearly desperate for children of her own. This situation started a fortnight ago with a chance meeting in the street and her inviting herself in for coffee (i'm kicking myself for not saying no) on this first meeting she really overstayed her welcome to the extent that I was cooking my daughters tea around her! She calls around unannounced on nearly a daily basis and phones me - this is the weird part - but when she is here it is not to see me or talk to me but my daughter! She keeps bringing round gifts for my daughter and keeps saying in front of my daughter that my daughter should 'call on her' at home (my daughter is 5!). I have been making an effort not to let her in this last week and not to answer the phone when she calls. However this sunday morning just gone (mothering sunday!) whilst I'm in the shower and my husband and daughter are downstairs in their pyjamas, she calls round and as my husband puts it she doesn't get the hint and he lets her in. I then have to tell her that I'm kicking her out as we need to get ready to go out. I am finding her to be extremely intrusive and her behaviour towards my daughter is disturbing in that she is far too interested and keeps bringing round gifts. I don't like to label people but it seems to me that she is very lonely (she doesnt work and is at home all day) and has very limited social skills. I have no idea how to deal with this situation other than to ask her to stop calling round.
Wow, what a difficult situation! Apart from moving house, it seems that you are going to have to be honest and explain how you feel to this lady. Otherwise you'll probably find yourself exploding and really offending her! Maybe you could work out some times when it would be ok for her to come round like one afternoon a week?
It's not going to be easy but try focusing on how you are feeling, eg "I am feeling concerned by the amount of gifts you are giving my daughter" or "I am feeling a bit intruded upon when you come round everyday".
She probably will be offended but at least she may start avoiding you!
Speak yobyour local community support officer and ask them to have a word with her, if she gets the hump with you you have lost nothing. You should feel relaxed in your own home, not hounded. That's the sort of thing they are there for after all, to mediate between neighbours. Her behaviour towards your daughter is not appropriate. Have you spoken to her husband about this? Maybe he could help.
I think getting the police in will really not be a great idea.
The woman is lonely and obviously desperate for a child.
I got back in touch with an uncle I hadnt seen for years last year. His wife had just died. He was dreadfully lonely.
Anyway, he kept buying things for my kids and his visits got more and more to where I found it intrusive (in fact one Sunday morning he appeared on our doorstep at 8am!! The kids wernt up and I was enjoying a brew and half hour of TV in peace. That was the final straw for us.
As he'd taken to coming round on a Saturday and Sunday morning (and also every day in the week) I decided to take the kids out early on the Saturday morning (McD's for breakfast) so I wasnt in when he called and on the Sunday we were "just going out" when he called (at silly o'clock).
When your neighbour comes around always be "just popping out"...it'll soon become clear to her that it's not convenient.
As with my uncle..it took a few weeks of very early starts for me and the kids but eventually he stopped coming round on a weekend morning and now his visits are half an hour on a Sunday afternoon which is really lovely as we can have a proper chat then!
