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This is the sceanrio that happened last week and left me very shaken.
My son did not pick up the laundry, and place it in the basket, did not clean the sink of 2 large dabs of toothpaste, and did not clean the toilet bowl of poo residue.
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He then pushed me against the wall and door in my room when he asked me to leave.
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Then he shouted and kept on shouting even after being told that Daniel and Mary were being disturbed. He had a red mist and felt embarrassed at being half naked. I did not know that, it was not my fault.
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He swore at me, to say P*ss off and F**king A**shole. I did not swear or insult him. He chose those words and did not show me the respect I deserved.
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He lost control because he could not handle irritation. He did not realise that his dad was also tired after doing shopping, ironing and cleaning that day because he wanted a very clean house for Mum to return to. He forgot that his dad is quite ill and is taking insulin. (Thatt was the straw that broke the camel's back).
He grabbed the phone out of my hand, and did a forearm hold against me on the kitchen counter. Any views? I called the police in panic 999 but did not press charges.
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This is what I have learnt over the last few years from my son. I hope it helps.
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Teenagers and men in general do not see picking up laundry and cleaning as a priority in their daily lives. Does your son get any rewards for doing jobs?Does he lose privileges if he doesnt do jobs? Maybe this is something you could sit down and agree on.
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My teenage son got very funny over privacy so we both had to knock to enter each others room.
Many teenaqers get embarassed by being half naked. Not everyone is comfortable with it. So I think this one is easy to avoid confrontation. If you think he is naked always knock.
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My son pushed me around. I always called the police. He has to learn that anger and bullying will not get him anywhere. I always followed it through. My son and I are still speaking and he has even admitted that he was out of control.
- I did not allow swearing in my house but if you listen to teenagers outside the house they all swear. Don't take it personally but again have a consequence for his language.
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It has been proven that teenagers have not all developed the ability to think of others and their actions. Hence why they can seem so selfish. If you can remember this you will see that some of his behaviour is not actually directed at the others in your house. His brain has just not developed enough for him to consider others. If it is followed with bad behaviour then have a consequence.
Use the police when you need them. They get paid for it and they would rather help you than you not phone them and the situation get worse. I would however make sure that you follow through wtih any action. If you think that the police attending this time has worked good but be careful that your son doesnt think that you are too weak to go through with any action.
I hope this helps
Gibbo
It's difficult to get the full picture from what you've written but even so, his behaviour wasn't acceptable and he needs to know he must never get physical with anyone unless it's self defence and they lash out first.
Hopefully he has learnt his lesson from the Police being called and I hope he has apologised.
Did you walk into his room without knocking? Teenagers need privacy and it's only right that we knock first.
Did you ask him politely to clear up his mess as soon as he could? My daughter often leaves the bath grubby & needs reminding to rinse it, it's a common issue.
I hope you can all discuss the situation, recognise where you all maybe went wrong & move on.
Best wishes,
Clover x