Mobile phones for tweens
Ensure that you have a suitable plan for your tween including appropriate talk time and text limits. Although a lot of companies offer unlimited texting think about whether this might encourage your tween to use it at inappropriate times.
Talk to them about extra costs that might be incurred if they use the internet etc. which may not be included in their contract, as these can soon add up. Of course mistakes do happen but if there is an on-going problem then do speak to your phone provider to see if you can put a limit on their phone, or if you feel it is appropriate put a block on the phone.
Make sure that they understand when it is appropriate for them to use their phones. Some schools have a complete ban on use of mobiles so this could include no use in the classroom, the dinner table or after lights out.
Ensure that your teen understands that sending explicit photos or engaging in sexual texts is not appropriate and could get them into all sorts of problems. They need to prove to you that they can be responsible. If you have doubts monitor the situation and let them know that you will be checking as and when you see fit.
Talk to them about cyber bullying so they understand what this means. Encourage them to talk to an adult if they have concerns about this.
Ensure they know that there will be real consequences if they violate your boundaries and if necessary remove the phone for a reasonable length of time.
So what’s new?
New areas of concern are so called “Adhoc” wifi that would allow a person with an unblocked phone to make their internet connection available to their friends’ handsets like iPod touch or iPads which may not have a built in internet connection, only wifi. A parent may feel their child is fine as they have to use the home wifi connection but away from the home they could connect to a friend’s Adhoc or other open or unsecured networks they find.
Parents should ensure that children know exactly what is expected of them in this regard. Ensure that they understand that connecting to the home wifi is allowed, but any other sources can only be accessed with permission or as you consider appropriate.
Children do make mistakes so if things go wrong or they come across something that makes them feel uncomfortable, try to encourage them to talk to you about it. If it’s a delicate subject and talking would be too intense let them know that they can always write you a letter. This might help to take the pressure off but will keep communication lines open.
Further resources
It may help to chat to other parents on our forums to find out how they are dealing with this issue within their family life. You can also talk to us online via our live chat service, email us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call us on our helpline on 0808 800 2222 to speak to trained family support worker.