Spending time with your teen

What your teens need from you

It’s easy for parents to feel “redundant” when parenting teens, but it’s important to remember that they still need you – just in a different way. Teens still need boundaries and you are entitled to have house rules and compromise can work wonders when trying to negotiate with them.  Reflect back on your own teenage years from time to time to remind them that you were also a teenager once and may have been through similar experiences.  Ensure they know your door is always open if anything is troubling them.

Teenagers still want to spend time with their parents. Of course, they'd like to be on their phones chatting to friends or playing games on their consoles. But teenagers also still value family time - eating together around a table, watching television as a family, even going out with you.

Bringing back family meals

Nothing quite brings a family together and promotes understanding and unity as eating together. You may come up against opposition when you suggest it. You may have to rearrange timetables, come home earlier, and your children may have to reschedule when they see their friends or study. You may all have to give up certain things to do it, but the benefits will outweigh these hassles. 

Sharing family meals allows everyone around the table to feel valued and appreciated - another core need for teenagers. It means that you can talk in a relaxed way, asking about their day and telling them about yours. Aim to eat together as a family every day, but if that really is impossible, then aim for at least four times a week. Read our top tips:

• Ask everyone to contribute to the meal by laying places, preparing or cooking or taking something to the table
• Encourage communication - go around the table asking everyone to tell the family about something they did that day they enjoyed, something they were pleased and proud about 
• Use mealtimes to discuss plans to spend time together - outings, nights in playing games