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How bullying affects children
Bullying affects young people in many ways. It can impact on their self-esteem, emotional wellbeing, education, and life outside of school. Young people experiencing bullying may feel that they aren’t worth help or that nobody likes them. They may feel self-conscious or embarrassed lots of the time. They may also feel scared, sad, or overwhelmed, and find it difficult to sleep or eat. Many young people who have been bullied find it hard to ever feel safe or confident in anything they do, leading them to isolate ourselves from others and to give up the things they enjoy doing.
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The impact on their emotional health
Being bullied has a detrimental impact on how children and young people see themselves and can cause scars that stay with them throughout life. It can also lead to very poor outcomes in other areas of their life. It can have a massive impact on mental health, both now and in the future. In fact, research has shown that if you’re bullied as a child or teenager, you may be twice as likely to access mental health support services as an adult.
If your child is struggling, they may feel unable to attend school and this can cause many issues. It is crucial to speak to the school straight away to get some support in place. It doesn't matter if you're being bullied at school, at home or online, bullying can mess with your head.
The impact on their physical health
Bullying can and does affect children and young people physically. They may have little or no appetite, have issues with their sleep and feel constantly stressed out which can have an impact on their health. It is important to speak to your GP if you are worried so a support plan can be put in place to help them.
Bullying and self-esteem
When you're being bullied, it can make you feel constantly insecure, and you may feel anxious and on edge all the time. Children and young people may feel unaccepted, isolated, angry, and withdrawn. They may be thinking of ways of how to make themselves invisible, so the bully doesn’t notice them. They may also miss out on opportunities of friendships or social engagements because of the pressure they are under.
Helping them deal with the trauma of bullying
It is not uncommon for a child to display negative behaviour after experiencing something traumatic. Negative behaviour is the result of negative feelings, so try your best to remain calm and try to identify what it is that they need from you. Remind yourself that they are not doing it to be defiant and this may be their way of coping with a difficult situation. Ensure your child spends time with the people who help them feel safe. Your child may be feeling very anxious and insecure so show them plenty of affection and reassurance. Let your child know that you are there for them when they need you.
Encourage your child to talk about what has happened. Talking together also gives you the opportunity to understand how your child feels about the experience and gives them a safe space to ask questions. Allow them to talk freely without interruption, and answer their questions as honestly as you can, in an age-appropriate way. Talking about difficult subjects can be reassuring for some children as it helps them to understand what has occurred and how to process this.
Helping your child build resilience
Helping our children build resilience and confidence is one of the most important gifts we can give them. We all understand how life can bring you many challenges throughout and how important it is on how we manage this. Resilience is being able to manage stress, challenges, trauma or adversity that life brings and bounce back from it. When children and teens are resilient, they are going to be more confident, curious and adaptable to the world around them.
Further resources
If you would like further support and advice, call our helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service or message us via WhatsApp on 07441 444125 to connect with experienced professional family support workers and highly-trained volunteers. You may find it helps to find out how other parents and carers have coped with this on our online forums. We also have a range of free self-guided online parenting courses that can help through the ages and stages of parenting.
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