7min read
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Our new WhatsApp service is now live. You can message us on 07441 444125 to connect with our team for support with parenting and family life worries.
7min read
Going to university is a big deal and can be exciting as well as nerve-racking. It is a unique experience for many students as they move away from home, learn to become independent and develop necessary life skills. Freshers can often find it overwhelming at first but soon seem to settle into student life. So what happens if you experience bullying at university? Where do you go for advice and support? How do you get it stopped?
Although there is no legal definition, bullying is a repetitive behaviour which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically, and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as appearance or disability. Bullying can take many forms including:
Social and emotional - This can include excluding someone out on purpose, encouraging others not to be friends with them, spreading rumours and gossip, humiliating someone in front of others, making someone the butt of their jokes constantly.
Cyberbullying - This form of bullying takes place online via social networking sites, messaging apps, gaming sites and chat rooms. This can be fake profiles, negative comments intended to cause distress, sharing personal information without permission, stalking, harassment, trolling and spreading fake rumours.
Name calling - Verbal bullying is one of the most common forms of bullying and can include teasing, making derogatory remarks about appearance, taunting someone, making threats and using insults as a way of humiliating the other person.
Sexualised bullying – This can form of bullying can be extremely distressing and someone may feel silenced to report this because they feel violated and degraded. Example of this can include sexualised name calling and using insults about sexuality or supposed promiscuity, pressuring you to engage in sexting, sharing of intimate images, texts and videos, inappropriate sexual remarks and in its most extreme form, sexual assault or rape.
Physical – This form of bullying is when someone physically hurts another person. This can be through pushing, punching, kicking, biting, scratching, spitting and any other form of physical violence.
It can be confusing for someone to try and work out whether the name calling is banter or bullying. A person experiencing this might feel intimidated or feel under pressure not to make a fuss because others are saying it is just banter.
If it is one off incident and not meant to cause harm, then it may be banter. But, if it becomes persistent and regular, then this is bullying. It is about how you feel too, if it makes you uncomfortable and you have told them to stop but they are still name calling, then this is verbal bullying. Banter becomes bullying when it is:
Experiencing bullying can cause many emotions and feelings. How a person responds to the bullying is often not a reflection of how they feel inside and some of these emotions can stay with them for the rest of their life. Being bullied can make a person feel anxious, trapped, unhappy, nervous, isolated and withdrawn. This can result in behaviours such as dropping out of the course, depression, risky behaviours or aggressive behaviour. These emotions and feelings can often cause scars that last well into adulthood and affect relationships in the future as they may have a lack of trust for others and situations. This is why it is important to seek support if you are experiencing bullying and get this resolved.
It is important to seek help and support if you are experiencing any form of bullying. You can speak to your family and friends for some emotional and practical support.
If the bullying is happening in your halls, speak to the resident teams who are there to support you when you are residing in the university halls. They can give you support and may be able to act or even offer alternative accommodation in another block. If you are in private halls or in a rented accommodation, you can still get some help from student services.
If you are experiencing bullying, you can speak to the wellbeing team or student services for initial advice and support. They can then make a referral to the appropriate service that can help you further.
You have the right to make a formal complaint to the University. Once the bullying is reported, a full investigation should be undertaken, and disciplinary action may be taken against the bully.
Request a copy of their anti-bullying policy, harassment policy and complaint procedure from your university. If you are being bullied or intimidated, the university is obligated to safeguard your interests so that you can learn and enjoy your time in a safe, respectful environment. You have the right to feel safe during your time at university and speaking to the students union can help as well as they may be able to help you link up with members and help create a safe space for you.
If you would like further support and advice, call our helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service or message us via WhatsApp on 07441 444125 to connect with experienced professional family support workers and highly-trained volunteers. You may find it helps to find out how other parents and carers have coped with this on our online forums. We also have a range of free self-guided online parenting courses that can help through the ages and stages of parenting.
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