Overcoming bullying

Finding the strength

If you are dealing with the aftermath of bullying, you could be feeling drained and low on batteries. Trying to find the strength to understand, process and overcome what you have experienced might feel like the hardest thing to do. Often, finding that strength can be through the support of your family and friends, and this can give you the helping hand you need to understand what you have endured. It is important to give yourself as much times as you need, don’t set yourself unrealistic limits as you need to go through this process in a manageable way.

“I was bullied at school and have never fully got over it (I'm 43 now). I'm so petrified that my kids will go through it too - my 9-year-old came home last week and told me that some boys had been really nasty to him and those feelings just came flooding back. I can't bear the thought of him going through it too.”

Accepting your emotions

It is natural under the circumstances to feel a mixture of emotions. You may be feeling sad, anxious and very low or possibly you may be feeling angry and violated. As a result of the bullying, you could be feeling depressed and want to withdraw from the world. These feelings are what many others feel when they have been bullied and accepting and understanding why you feel the way you do, is a part of the process of understanding what you when through and leaving those emotions behind. It is important not to make any negative choices or decisions when feeling this way as they may not be choices you would ordinarily make. Take your time, speak to the people you love and trust so they can help you move forwards. You may want to find out if you are able to get counselling or support as this is a positive step in helping you overcome bullying. You may be able to access counselling through your employers. If you are at school or college, speak to your student support or pastoral team. Your GP can give you support and may be able to refer you for NHS Talking Therapy. The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy have a list of therapists that are registered with them if you are looking privately.

Helping others

When you have experienced such trauma as bullying, you may feel a need to use the knowledge and understanding you have gained to help others who are being bullied. There are many ways you can do this whether it is volunteering, setting up a peer support group at school or raising awareness about the issues of bullying. If this is something you have considered, it is worth checking online to see what support available and what contribution you can make to help others. This is another way of leaving the scars of bullying behind.

Leaving the scars behind

Anyone who has been bullied will find their own way of healing and leaving those scars behind. Unfortunately, there are many people whose adult life is still affected by the bullying they experienced earlier on in life. If you seek the support and go through that process, hopefully there are ways of healing and moving forward. You could write about what you went through, as writing down what you have gone through and seeing how far you have come can give you such strength.

Another idea is to make a loose plan in your life and steps for overcoming bullying and every time you have achieved a goal, you tick it off and know that you are one step closer to leaving the scars behind. It is important to do what feels right for you as you know yourself better than anyone else. Empower yourself and regain control as this is your life, your future and your choices. This may take time but believing in yourself will help you reach your goals.