Social bullying

What is social bullying?

This sort of bullying is often harder to recognise and is often carried out behind the back of the person who is being bullied. It includes:

• Lying, fake rumours and spreading gossip
• Encouraging others to turn against someone
• Leaving someone out constantly and encouraging others to do the same
• Socially excluding someone online or negative comments on posts and images
• Damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance
• Using humiliating nicknames and continuing when asked to stop

It isn’t easy for someone going through this to accept when the line crossed from being a prank or banter to persistent bullying. By the time you realise it is bullying, it may feel harder to seek support.

What is behind a bully's behaviour?

It is hard to fully understand the reasons behind why people feel the need to bully others. Some of the more common reasons are:

• Attention seeking behaviour, doesn’t matter if it is positive or negative.
• Might be a need for them to think they can get what they want from being a bullying.
• To impress others and think they are gaining respect and popularity amongst their peers
• To punish people they are jealous or envious of, so targeting them for bullying.
• Because others are doing it and they too afraid to speak up.                            
• They may have low self-esteem, confidence and possible anger issues.
• Been bullied themselves.

Whatever the reasons may be, it does not give anyone the right to make others feel low or bully others to make themselves feel better.

Making new friendships

To have friends you also need to be a friend and you can do that by trying to be open and friendly with people and asking how they are and striking up general conversations. This isn't always easy, but if you just ask someone if they had a nice weekend then it gives them the chance to say something back and then you can try to continue the conversation.

People love talking about themselves so in time you'll find people who like doing that because you'll come across as a good listener and then people will enjoy your company and you'll find you have the same interests as some of these people which is the first step towards real friendship.

Tips on overcoming social bullying

Dealing with social bullying can be tough. Here are some tips:

Trust your instincts – Friends that care will never bully! The ones who do, were never your friends in the first place.

See the bigger picture – Easier said than done but just remember those who are bullying may have issues and although this is no excuse, it may be a reason as to why they are choosing to act this way. 

Ask for help – Asking for help to get this stopped is not a weakness, even having someone to talk to can help enormously! Get your loved ones on board.

Get involved - Join a group that offers activities that you really like and that give you a chance to shine. You might even want to use your experiences to set up a peer support group for those who are being bullied.

Be yourself – Don’t let the small minded actions of other dull your shine. Be kind, be confident and love who you are. The bullies will soon get bored when they don’t get a reaction.