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Making child arrangements
When parents separate or divorce, making child arrangements is an important part of co-parenting. When there is a family breakdown, children may feel a mixture of emotions so ensuring that this adjustment is stable and consistent is very important for their emotional health and wellbeing.
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Making a plan
Making a child arrangement plan is important as it determines where the child will be resident, how much time they will spend with the non-resident parent and other areas of their life such as education, health, etc. The priority in these arrangements should always be what is in the best interest for the child and their needs.
It is natural for parents who are separated or divorcing to have some negative emotions towards each other, but it is important to try and reach an agreement for contact times, dates and times as amicably as possible. Being open and honest is the key to creating a plan that suits the children and parents. Using a co-parenting plan can be really helpful and ensures that everyone’s needs are met.
Formalising your agreement
If you and the other parent have come to an agreement and created a plan, you can draft a consent order to make this a legally binding agreement. A consent order is a legal document that confirms your agreement and has details on where the child will live, when they spend time with the non-resident parent and what other types of contact that can take place such as calls, etc. Both parents will have to sign the draft consent order and you will need to get this approved by the court and a legal advisor can help with this process.
When parents cannot agree
If both parents cannot agree and have exhausted mediation or legal advice, then you can apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangement Order. You may have to show evidence that you have tried mediation unless there has been domestic abuse. The court will look at different things such the child's wishes, the parents and any possible safeguarding issues. In some cases, an independent service such as CAFCASS may be ordered by the court to assess the child’s needs and will then provide their recommendations to the court.
If you can, seek legal advice from family law specialists for guidance. You may be entitled to some help with legal costs depending on your financial circumstances.
If a parent does not comply with a Child Arrangements Order, the other parent can apply for enforcement through the court.
Using a child contact centre
If there is an issue that prevents both parents from meeting each other during contact, it may help to have a neutral meeting place, such as a Child Contact Centre. At a centre, both parents do not have to meet one another, and the handover is done with trained staff and volunteers. It may be that the contact is supervised and ordered by the court, or it is used a space for handover. You may be able to make a self-referral. The National Association of Child Contact Centres has a helpful guide to help you make the right decision for your children.
Further resources
If you would like further support and advice, call our helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service or message us via WhatsApp on 07441 444125 to connect with experienced professional family support workers and highly-trained volunteers. You may find it helps to find out how other parents and carers have coped with this on our online forums. We also have a range of free self-guided online parenting courses that can help through the ages and stages of parenting.
Our online parenting information is written by experienced parenting professionals. Find out more about our content authors, how it is produced, reviewed and edited.
Other organisations that can help
CAFCASS have some helpful information on making arrangements, going to court and more.
Read this guidance with forms and fee information from GOV.UK.
Coram Child Law Advice have lots of guidance on contact, court process and much more.
You may find it helpful to visit the National Family Mediation website.
We have a free online parenting course on co-parenting after a divorce or separation with four modules.