Getting counselling during a divorce or separation

5min read

Sometimes you might need to seek some counselling after a divorce or separation to help you work through your feelings. No two people will cope with the same situation in the same way. While one person might be able to move on really quickly and throw themselves into daily life, for another it can take more time - even years before they feel ready to move on. It isn’t healthy to live in the past but sometimes we might need a bit of extra help to encourage us to move forward and process the change and loss that you may have just experienced.

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Why choose counselling

Divorce is a challenging experience for most couples, regardless of who initiates the process. It can evoke a wide range of emotions, from relief and hope for a new beginning to sadness, loss, and even guilt as the reality sets in. With so many conflicting emotions swirling around, finding a safe and respectful space to communicate becomes crucial. The intensity of this life-altering event often leads couples to seek counselling during their divorce. This can empower people to reach their own conclusions and navigate the path towards their new life.

Benefits of counselling

Unlike mediation or legal services, divorce counselling provides a safe space for couples or individuals to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of separation. This supportive environment can help them process and ultimately come to terms with:

  • Navigating the heartbreak and grief of the end of a relationship
  • Facing the uncertainties of a new chapter in life
  • Processing difficult emotions like anger, bitterness, betrayal, self-doubt, anxiety, and fear
  • Building resilience to cope with challenges and emerge stronger
  • Prioritising co-parenting for the wellbeing of children, ensuring the past doesn't negatively impact their lives

Finding a counsellor

It can take time for you to find a counsellor that you click with. You may find it helpful to get recommendations from people you trust or perhaps find a counsellor online.It is important to read reviews.

The BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy) have an online directory on their website which has a list of therapists and counsellors in your area. There would be a cost, so it is important to do some research.

You may want to contact your local Relate as they may be able to provide you with details of their local service near to you.

We are always here to support you through difficult times so if you feel in need of a bit of extra support while going through divorce or separation or other family problems don’t hesitate to contact Family Lives.

Further resources

If you would like further support and advice, call our helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service, which is open, Monday to Friday between 10.30am and 9pm. You may find it helps to find out how other parents and carers have coped with this on our online forums. We also have a range of free online parenting courses that can help through the ages and stages of parenting. 

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Last updated: November 2024