Managing sibling jealousy

Tips for managing this change

• If you haven’t had your baby yet, prepare your child for the arrival of the new baby. It might help to look at a children’s book about the subject together.
• Do look through old baby pictures of your first child with them, so they remember that they too had all the same attention and care that the new baby is receiving.
• Do try to spend some time alone with your older child on a regular basis, so they don’t feel they need to compete for your attention.
• Do allow your older child to be an active part of the baby’s life, by letting them help with looking after their baby brother or sister like helping to change a nappy, or reading to them.
• Do encourage your children to resolve their differences themselves as they start to get older.
• When dealing with a toddler, try to make them figure out their own solutions rather than giving in to their demands all the time – if they are disturbing you whilst you’re trying to feed the baby, ask them to play where the baby can’t get in their way – making them feel they can do things the baby can’t, which reminds them that there are perks to getting bigger!
• Don’t make any major changes to your child’s routine when the baby first comes along, such as their sleeping arrangements; try to do this a couple of months before the birth or a few months after the new arrival.
• Don’t make comparisons between your children like, "I wish you’d eat up all your food like your baby sister does". This may make your child feel they're not good enough. Say what you want from them, like, "Try and eat a bit more, then you can go and watch TV."
• Don’t punish them for regressing or acting ‘babyishly’ – understand that it’s just a natural way for them to deal with emotions they don’t understand, such as jealousy.
• Don’t think that sibling rivalry means your children won’t have a good relationship later on – once they have got over the initial jealousy of having to share their parents, there is no reason why they shouldn't learn to live with their new brother or sister.