Building your child's self-esteem

Possible causes of low-self-esteem

Struggles with self-esteem can come and go throughout a child’s development. There are many challenges, stresses or pressures a child can experience that impact the way they feel about themselves. These include difficulties such as bereavement, domestic abuse or parental separation, trauma, starting a new school, bullying or friendship issues. Social media can also have a significant impact on self-esteem as much of the content they see can be unrealistic, filtered and show something that is not genuine.

The important thing to do as a parent or trusted adult, is to recognise it is a struggle. Give them your understanding, reassurance, and encouragement so that they know they are not alone in this, and you want to help them.

How to boost your child's self-esteem

Giving your child love, warmth and attention is the best way to boost their self-esteem as your positive relationship will help them to feel valued and important. No matter how old they are, showing an interest in their lives and listening to their problems will help reduce the negative feelings they may have of themselves.

Acknowledge how they are feeling and encourage them to talk to you. You can also challenge the way they think about themselves by saying positive comments about a particular issue they have been down on themselves about. Acknowledge how they are feeling and encourage them to talk to you, an example of this could be, I can see that this is something that you are really struggling with and although I may not be able to fix this for you, I am here to support you. 

You can also challenge the way they think about themselves by saying positive comments about a particular issue they have been down on themselves about. A way of addressing this would be to ask your child what they would say if one of their friends confided in them about the way they think about themselves and what advice they would give them. This can help them to think about things differently and in a more objective way.

Being a good role model is also important and this means you need to be positive about yourself in front of the child. If you are going through a challenging time, you can show them that it is normal to struggle in life but maintaining a positive attitude can make a big difference to how you cope.

Other organisations that can help​

Young Minds have a helpful advice article that can help with self-esteem

Childline has some advice for children and young people on boosting confidence and self-esteem

Mind have some useful advice for teenagers on confidence and self-esteem

Find out how a can-do attitude, a little self-belief, and a willingness to get things wrong sometimes can set a good example and help your child to grow up with confidence.