Underage drinking

Why is age 13 too young?

The Chief Medical Officers tells us parents that young people should wait until at least age 15 and an alcohol free childhood is best. This is because the more relaxed you are about alcohol, the more likely your child is to drink outside of the home. The same amount of alcohol has a much greater effect on the body and organs of a child or young person than on an adult, because their bodies (especially their brains and liver) are still growing and developing. As parents, the longer we can delay the age of drinking outside of the home, the more likely our kids are to escape the risks around drinking.  

Will they listen to me?

You may think they don’t listen, but 70% of teens say their parents are the number one influence on whether they drink alcohol. Parents weren’t seen by most teenagers as good role models or set ground rules that they stuck to. There are some practical ways to delay teenage drinking. 

• Encourage sports, hobbies, clubs and social activities that keep your kids busy. Kids say hanging around with nothing to do is a key reason for drinking.
• If you work, try and share childcare with friends during holidays, could they volunteer? Odd jobs for friends? Public places such as parks or the beach is where young people drink outside of the home (other than at private parties).
• Make sure that you know the facts and laws about alcohol and can talk in a balanced way about the pros and cons of drinking, then you’ll be more equipped to talk and listen to your teenager and to understand the pressures they’re facing from their peers and wanting to fit in.
• Make sure that the house rules are clear, agree them together and what will happen if they are broken, they should change as they mature, and you feel they can be trusted more too.
• If your teenager is going to a party, drop them off and pick them up, or book a taxi. It’s hard to hide having had too much to drink and it shortens the time spent at the party. Try and avoid sleepovers after parties.
• Although your teenager will hate it, check where they are going and who they are with and if their plans are genuine.
• Be careful where you leave alcohol in the house. 

Teach your child about sensible drinking, pacing drinks, alternating alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks and always eating a decent meal before drinking. Warn them how easy it is to go over their limits, make a fool of themselves and compromise their safety or do something they might regret later. Offer your child the chance to ask any questions so they can come to you if they ever need any help. As they get older, remind them to always keep their mobile fully charged and to let you, or someone outside of their friendship group know where they are going, they should always plan how they are going to get home before they go out and keep enough money aside to get home safely. Finally, drink spiking is a real risk, so they should never leave their drink unattended or accept drinks from someone they do not know well. 

Going to parties

Speak to the host parents, even if you don’t know them. Check an adult will be present and their policy on alcohol. If you can, drop your teenager off and pick them up, or share lifts with parents you trust.

If they are sleeping over after a party at another friend’s house, check plans are genuine and again speak to the parents. Ask your child to ring or text you when they’re safely at their friends house. Make sure your teenager has had a good meal before they go out.

Check they have a fully charged mobile that they must keep on, and that you have planned how and what time they are getting home. Be prepared to say no if you’re unhappy about a party or if your child doesn’t want you to speak to the host. There may be rows, but remember that this is because you care, not because you are being a killjoy. Offer an alternative treat instead to soften the blow.

Don’t feel pressured by younger teens to provide them with alcohol to take with them to parties or threaten you that they’ll ask their mates to buy it for them instead (explain they risk their friend being fined or charged). If your teen breaks your agreement, such as what time to be home, then make sure you carry out any consequences, such as grounding them or taking phone away.

Setting a good example

Parents' drinking habits are an important factor in the way children experience alcohol. Almost half (49%) of 16 and 17 year-olds questioned by Drinkaware charity said they had seen their parents drunk, and therefore think this approach to booze is normal. A recent Finnish study found that where parents drank a lot, their teenagers tended to as well either following their parent's example or because drinking made the parent more lax in monitoring their children's comings and goings, and more heavy-handed in disciplining them. That, in turn, increased the children's likelihood of drinking and getting drunk.

Look at your own behaviour around drink. Do you come home from work and reach for a bottle? Drink every day? Only feel relaxed with a glass in your hand? These gestures send a powerful message to your children, so try and cut down. Start by checking out the Drinkaware drink diary. Also: "Have three alcohol-free days a week," advises Dr Nick Sheron, liver specialist at Southampton University School of Medicine. "Not drinking mid-week automatically cuts down your units and reduces all alcohol-associated health risks." There is a drink calculator and drink diary via Drinkaware to help you keep trach of your drinking.