5min read
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Empty nest syndrome
When a child leaves home, it can trigger a range of emotions in a parent - from pride and satisfaction to grief, sadness and worry. This can be compounded if you have other changes going on in your life at the same time. Some parents describe how it can hit them when suddenly they are not making dinners, driving their teens around or encouraging them to tidy up after themselves.
Acknowledge how you feel
When your children are getting ready to leave home, it can be a stressful time. Lots of your time might be taken up helping them to get ready, so try to take a few moments for yourself, just to acknowledge how you are feeling. If arguments are flaring up, or just if you think it could be helpful, talk to your child about how you are feeling. Try not to pass on any feelings of guilt - acknowledge that while you might be feeling sad or anxious, you recognise that it’s a positive step for them.
You may feel quite a shock when they've gone. It's the end of an era and the feelings you experience may be similar to grief. Stay in touch - if they live nearby, invite them over for dinner or plan a shopping trip together. If they are further away, keep in touch by phone, video calls or email.
Rediscover yourself and your relationships
Make plans for the weeks after they have moved out so that you keep busy and start making time to enable you to rediscover yourself and your relationships. Do something that will help you to rediscover yourself. You may have more time for yourself now that the washing and ironing has gone down. Whether it is spending more time with friends or pursuing a dream - think about what you want. You could take up a class, find a new interest or join a club to expand your skills and social circle. If you have a partner, you may feel you want to rediscover your relationship now the focus has gone from the kids. Think of things you can do together now that you've got a bit more time to yourselves.
The boomerang effect
If they live round the corner they may want to assert their independence but you can bet they still want to be around. And don't forget that if they are going to university they may soon be back for the holidays. Prepare yourself for this if you have got used to having the place to yourself.
Lean on your support network
If you are struggling with this new change and it does have an impact on your wellbeing and mental health, then do make an appointment with your GP for some support. Talk to your friends and family so they can give you extra support during this new adjustment.
Further resources
If you would like further support and advice, call our helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service, which is open, Monday to Friday between 10.30am and 9pm. You may find it helps to find out how other parents and carers have coped with this on our online forums. We also have a range of free online parenting courses that can help through the ages and stages of parenting.
We share the thoughts of some parents and teens going through this transitional phase
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