8min read
Parents' guide to social media and apps
It seems that almost every week there is a new app or website that kids are using to connect with each other and it can be hard to keep up. It’s important for parents to know how these work, and how old your child should be to use them, usually 13 or over, to help avoid cyberbullying and sexting.
Talking to your child
It’s important to talk to your child about what is and is not appropriate to share online and the consequences sending inappropriate messages, images and videos. As most of these apps can be used free of charge, it can be even more tempting for young people to send images or videos free of charge. It is important to ensure they know what to do if they receive bullying comments or images that are inappropriate, such as letting a adult know, deleting, reporting and blocking the sender, etc.
There are also some basic rules to talk to your child about such as not using your real name on your profile when it is available publicly, never adding your location to your messages or photos, never giving out personal information and never accept a follower or friend who you don't actually know in real life.
Snapchat
Snapchat is a free app where you can take a picture or video and send it to your friends. Kids like it because the image isn’t permanent and because it feels spontaneous. You get to decide how long a photo will "live," from 1 to 10 seconds, after it’s viewed. It’s important that users realise that this doesn’t mean the image can’t be captured by the receiver by taking a screenshot or other method. Unlike social network sites and other photo-sharing apps, you can't post publicly. You can only share with friends and you get to decide who to share with each time you send a photo.
Snapchat runs on iPhone, Android, iPad, Android tablets and iPod Touch. You have to be age 13 or over to use Snapchat although they offer a limited version called Snapkidz which allows images to be created but not sent or received. Once you have set up an account, by default, anyone who knows your username or phone number can send you a message.
You can configure Snapchat to only accept messages from users on your “My Friends” list in the settings menu in the application, select “Who can send me snaps...”, then select “My Friends” instead of “Everyone.”
Snapchat has developed a new feature called Snap Map which can show your location. It is very important to turn this feature off so you are able to keep safe. Snap Map tracks your current location and places your avatar on a map like a pin. This can allow others to zoom in and find exactly where you are. It doesn't take effect until you update the app, and it has an opt-out option. If you’re opening the app for the first time after the update, Snapchat will walk you through a step-by-step tutorial on how to use the Snap Map. First, it’ll show you how to pinch and zoom in the camera tool to access the map. Then, it’ll ask who you want to see your location. You get three choices: all your friends, select friends, or only me. Choosing 'only me' activates what it calls 'ghost mode' meaning you can see others but they can't see you. To turn off location data altogether, you’ll need to visit your phone's settings where you can scroll down to Snapchat, click on 'location', and choose to never share.
Snapchat streaks is when you send direct snaps back and forth with a friend for several consecutive days. The longer you go without breaking the chain of communication, the longer your streak is. Snapchat rewards longer streaks with special emojis, such as the "100" emoji for streaks lasting 100 days. Many young people can get obssessive about this and spend a lot of time keeping streaks alive. To them, there is nothing more devastating than losing a streak they have put months of work into. It has been reported that young people get very anxious if they haven't done their 'streaks' and it can cause great stress. It is important to talk to your child about this in detail so they understand that this virtual world can end up impacting on their emotional health and real world.
To block a user, tap the Menu icon, select “My Friends,” locate their name in the list and swipe right across their name (or in Android, long-press the name). Press “Edit” and then “Block.” If you would like to delete a friend from your contacts, press “Delete.” Even if you haven’t added the user as a friend, their name will still appear in the “My Friends” list under “Recent” if they have sent you a message recently.
If a child receives inappropriate photos or someone's harassing him or her, contact Snapchat via safety@snapchat.com or by going to Snapchat.com and clicking on Support. You can delete the account as long as you have the username and password. If you wish to delete the account and your child won't give you his or her password, you can submit a deletion request. You can read Snapchat’s terms of use, privacy, guide for parents, information on reporting abuse.
Instagram is a photo editing and sharing ‘app’ that allows users to edit photos taken on their phone and post them to Instagram, Facebook and X with the click of a button. Instagram photos are open to the public by default and Instagram lets users browse public photos posted by others and by people whom they follow. You have to be over 13 to use Instagram.
Once an Instagram profile has been created, anyone can browse them and follow other Instagram users. There is an option to make an Instagram profile private, and similar to Facebook, users have to send a request to connect to that person. Ensure that the photo sharing is set to private as this will prevent the photos from going out publicly where anyone can view them. You can set the privacy setting through the Instagram interface by going to settings and scrolling down to the setting labelled “Photos are Private” or “Photo Privacy” and ensuring it is turned on. Work with your teen to select an appropriate profile photo that you can both agree on. It’s best to avoid using an actual photo of your teen and instead find something that best represents your teen or their interests. Turn off the geo-tagging or location of photos, that way even if a photo gets out to the public, hopefully no one knows where your child is. Read Instagram's privacy policy.
Instagram have introduced a new feature called Teen Accounts which provides more protections for those under 16 years of age. The teen account settings require parental approval to make any changes and provide built-in protections around who teens are interacting with, the content they see, and how much time they spend online. In addition to this, teens can select topics they want to prioritise in their feeds. Their settings will be private by default, and they will have to manually approve new followers. They will only receive messages from people they already follow, and parents will have the ability to monitor who their child is messaging, set time limits and block access during certain hours, such as bedtime.
Tik Tok
TikTok is a fun app for many young people. It has increased in popularity and is a platform that allows users to create short videos incorporating music. To use TikTok, you must be 13 years old or older, and some features are restricted for users under 18, including live videos and direct messaging.
To help with screen time, TikTok has introduced a daily screen time cap of 60 minutes which applies to all accounts belonging to users under the age of 18, but this can be changed. They may also be sent a notification with a recap of how much time they have spent on the app.
The Family Pairing feature allows parents to manage certain aspects of their child's TikTok account if they are under 16. They can regulate what their child can search for, set screen time limits, disable comments on their videos, and decide whether others can view their ‘liked’ content. However, parents do not have access to their child's actual videos. For more details on parental controls, including password setup and linking phone numbers, check out TikTok’s Guardian’s Guide.
You have the option to deactivate or delete your account. Deactivating your TikTok account allows you to put it on a temporary hold. When you're ready to get back on TikTok, you can reactivate it anytime. If you would like more information on deleting your account, please visit this page from the Tik Tok Help Centre.
WhatsApp lets people send text messages, videos, photos, and short audio messages to one or many people with no message limits. Messages can only be sent to other smartphone users who also have WhatsApp. Once you install the app, it checks your address book to see if anyone else you know is already using WhatsApp and connects you automatically. You have to be over 16 to use WhatsApp legally. It is always essential to make sure you talk to your child about what is and isn't appropriate to send and receive. You can read more about WhatsApp’s safety centre policies and terms of service.
Facebook is the most used social networking service, but teenagers are using it less. The service, which enables users to connect with friends and family as well as make new connections, requires everyone to be at least 13 years old before they can create an account.
Facebook features a number of functions to help your teen manage who can see their content and how they interact with others. They can also use the reporting function to flag content that breaks community guidelines and upsets them. They have the ability to set their profile so only friends can see their posts, limit who can tag them in posts, post visibility and removing friend request button.
Facebook have a Help Centre which has lots of articles to help you set up a profile that is secure, privacy friendly and tips on keeping yourself safe online.
YouTube
YouTube is a video sharing platform that shows long form videos and content. It is hugely popular amongst all age groups. To create a YouTube account, you need to be aged over 13. However, you don’t need an account to watch videos on the platform.
YouTube offers Supervised Experiences, allowing you to set content levels based on your teen’s maturity. For younger teens, the "Explore" setting includes videos suitable for ages 9+, while "Explore More" is geared toward ages 13+. Once they’re 13 or older, they can have their own YouTube account, but you can still enable Restricted Mode to filter out potentially inappropriate content. Encourage open discussions about responsible viewing, and periodically review their watch history. For more guidance, visit YouTube’s Family Safety pages.
Further resources
If you would like further support and advice, call our helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service or message us via WhatsApp on 07441 444125 to connect with experienced professional family support workers and highly-trained volunteers. You may find it helps to find out how other parents and carers have coped with this on our online forums. We also have a range of free self-guided online parenting courses that can help through the ages and stages of parenting.
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